1000 Word Wednesdays – April 2nd 2014

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El Pollo

Count Cluckula

Here we have El Pollo (the chicken). If you are not interested in the lifestyles and hobbies of el pollo, I suggest you leave right now! Otherwise stick around for 1000 words or less about this particular chicken.

Our story starts at our neighborhood in Puerto Barrios. Our house sits within concrete walls, but even that was not enough to stop the terror lurking within.
Ants! Ants everywhere! I’m not talking about little, ole black ants; Oh no, these are jungle ants. Their bodies grow to about half an inch and they are mean! They were invading the land, completely destroying any vegetation in their way to strengthen their underground empire, and their next target was our home. The war had been waging many months before we moved down here, but now it was time to take action. *Cue Braveheart music and throw a sword in the air*

Our battle started with setting up a RAID perimeter and securing entry points. We held back a vast majority of the onslaught, but we were still losing the war. We needed to turn the tide but how?

One day, we came home from work to see our forces had recruited some new allies. Los Pollos had joined our cause and aimed to turn the tide! The Guatemalan and Americans all rejoiced in their respective languages – Cheers of “Yeeeeiiii” “Haaaaayyyy” and “All right you damn ants, this ends today!” rang through the battlefield.

Los pollos forces were few, but what they lacked in numbers they made up for with ferocity on the battlefield. Lead by their fearless leader “Count Cluckula” (pictured above), the Elite Coup Group ravaged the ants marching through the lands towards our base. Relentlessly clawing at the ground while stabbing the enemy with their razor shape beaks and pin-point accuracy, the colony had meant their match. Soon the Elite Coup Group had staged a counter-offensive! Pushing the opponent back towards their home base. It was only a matter of time before this war would end.

Everything seemed promising and the invading ant armies were in disarray! But just as the tides had turned in our favor, tragedy would once again throw this war off balance. The Elite Coup Group suffered great loss within the same day – “The Bride of Clucky” and “Count Cluckula” had been slain on the battlefield. There was little time to grieve their lose because the ants had already launched a wave of attacks against our home base.

I wish I could tell you this story has a happy ending, but that is not the case. The ants overran our base and there was nothing we could do to stop them. They controlled a small part of the kitchen and we set up boarders to prevent them from taking more of our land. Tensions ran high, but for the time being, things seemed to be at peace.

We had a memorial service for our fallen comrades and the great leader “Count Cluckula”. Here are some of the memoirs from his own personal diary and recollections regarding the Barrios Ant War of 2013:

June 26th: “Bawk! What is the meaning of life? Why are we created to harm one another?”
“Why is the sky blue?”
June 27th: “There are so many ants here. Food.”
June 28th: “War. What is it good for? Ants.”
June 29th: “It’s the weekend. What day is it?”
“I’m going to take a nap on the roof”
July 1st: “My legs hurt, I fell off the roof”
“Oh look, ants. Food.”
July 4th: “Loud noises. Fireworks. I’m going to dig in this garbage”
July 10th: “I should do more chicken things”
Today’s Goals: Do chicken things
July 15th: “Shiny things on the ground, how you glisten in the sun. You are not food. Oh shiny thing, you look delicious. Shiny thing is not food. Oh look, a shiny thing!”
July 26th: “As I live the last days of my life, I wonder about life. Why are there so many ants here. I’m hungry”
July 30th: “One my last day of life. This war will never end. What is our purpose here? I’m a chicken.”

When Count Cluckula wasn’t fending off the jungles ants, he enjoyed many hobbies, including:

  • Eating
  • Walking
  • Digging in the dirt
  • Roosting
  • Falling off the roof
  • Digging in garbage
  • Digging a roost
  • Clawing at concrete like he was trying to dig
  • Doing chicken things
  • Being a chicken
  • Pondering life
  • Forgetting things he had pondered because he’s a chicken

Count Cluckula, we will never forget the great deeds you do for us in those few months. You will be missed.

(Not exactly 1000 words but if you enjoyed this story please like, reblog, or stop by every Wednesday for a new story inspired by a real picture. If you would like to play along, leave a comment with you own story and the tag “1000 Word Wednesdays” in the comments below. I would love to come read it! Have a great day! See category “1000 Word Wednesdays” roll over for full details)